Healing Wounds instead of "Pushing Buttons"

"Wounded people wound people." That's the way John said it Sunday, wasn't it? I can attest to the truth of that statement and I suspect you can, too. I know it to be truth because, unfortunately, I have both wounded and been wounded. And.....so have you. But why is it like that? Why do we seemingly go out of our way to wound people when we are wounded? Is it something of a "misery loves company" sort of thing? And, specifically, have you noticed that we often seem to wound those closest to us when we are wounded?


I was recently talking to a young friend who has been married just a few years. He was telling me about a disagreement he had had with his wife and, specifically, lamenting how poorly he responded to it. He said, "We're just not like you and your wife who never get into a fight." Now I knew he was pouring his heart out as a result of genuine remorse for his actions. Still, I laughed out loud when he made that statement! Don't fight with my wife.....are you kidding me? I explained to him that not only did my wife and I fight (although I'll admit after nearly 30 years of marriage, we rarely fight) that like every other couple on the planet we were experts at hurting each other. I told him how I know exactly what to say or do to hurt my wife. I know exactly what buttons to push to wound her in those moments I feel wounded. In fact, it is something I do it on purpose at times. If I am hurting, I make sure she does, too! Now I don't hold this up as an example of good behavior or an appropriate response. I am just being honest about something that is true in me....and, I suspect, true in you. Namely, when we are hurting we go out of our way to hurt others......especially, those closest to us!


It is not my intention to offer solutions to this ridiculous phenomenon in these musings. First, I am not really qualified but, more importantly, I don't think any of us really need help to understand how to change this type behavior if we really want to. No....my purpose in this writing is to ask you (and me) to honestly consider if there are any people who we have gone out of our way to wound lately. And, if so, to challenge you (and me) to be begin the process of restoration. Ultimately, it is the Lord who can provide the healing from these wounds. But we are not to simply be bystanders in this process. So, what about it? Does anybody come to your mind who you have wounded?

Randy Impson