Did you pick up on the important nuance in Dr. Avants definition of forgiveness yesterday? I don't have it right in front of me, but what struck me was these two words - reconciliation and release.
Let's think about reconciliation. We have been reconciled to God through the blood of Christ. We are called as followers of Christ to carry the ministry of reconciliation to those without Christ. With Christ, they too can be reconciled to God. God is the offended party because of our sin, but he has made a way of forgiveness that takes you directly to a cross upon which his Son Jesus died. His death made the possiblity of a restored relationship become reality.
When one of us hurts another, there may or may not be reconciliation. Yet, if you or I are the offended party, then we can make a choice to release the offender. We do not define that person or our own lives, for that matter, in terms of the aggregious offense we have suffered. In our LIFE group lesson yesterday (written by Woods Watson), we saw how Joseph left the judgment part to God. He trusted in the ability of God to take what was meant to harm him become a blessing to many people. (See Genesis 50:15-21)
Joseph was reconciled to his family and what a sweet reunion that was. When we forgive a friend, a family member, neighbor, or co-worker, we may or may not enter into a restored relationship with that person. Our responsibility is the same regardless of the outcome. We are to forgive.
Gary Witherall shared yesterday that great verse in Romans 5:8 "While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He cried out from the cross "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing." Even when the other person is not grieved that they have hurt you, you can still forgive. You can release that person to the Lord to let him do what only he can do.
His anger is always righteous. Ours is not. Trust him to take what may have hurt you to become a blessing for you and many others with the passage of time.
Take the high road of forgiveness today and begin to live a new life of hope, victory, and joy.
Dwight Munn
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After hearing three different messages on forgiveness yesterday..I knew GOD was speaking to me..I am willing to forgive because I know how much GOD had to forgive when He saved me...But, why do I still have these feelings against the two who have been so visious and ugly in their verbal attacks? More than any one thing, I desire to be obedient to GOD..He has loved me when I couldn't understand how, He has forgiven me when I couldn't forgive myself and He has been so VERY merciful and kind to me and I don't know why... How do I begin to repair a relationship that my human feelings know I never destroyed? Please, I need to know what to do next...
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is a process, not a point in time. It is a conscious decision. Forgiveness doesn't mean you forget. Sometimes things are said that we never can forget because the words hurt us so badly.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness not only releases the one who has hurled viscious insults your way, but it allows you to be freed from the prison that bitterness and anger builds around us when we refuse to work at forgiveness. Sometimes the result when we forgive is that the relationship never recovers. In that event, we must move on. In other cases, reconsiliation leads to a time of rebuilding the relationship. Praise God when that happens. Yet, the benefits of forgiveness that you extend is not dependent on a restored relationship.
In forgiveness, you demonstrate exactly what you said in your comment, that Christ has amazingly loved you (and I) in our completely unlovable condition.
Your next step, I believe, is to:
1) Release the parties who have offended you for their offense. That may be a letter, a phone call, a face to face meeting.
2) Trust God to restore the relationship if that will be BENEFICIAL for you and the other parties. (If this is a chronically abusive situation, then it may be best to release and walk away.)
3)Ask God to heal the wounds of hurt while you continually work to release the offender from their offense and yourself from your anger.
God bless,
Dwight Munn